Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Urbandictionary is a piece of shit

... Whoah is that the time!!

Last time I made a post I was talking 'bout right and wrong, but I won't be writing a post about Theology this semester. Cause it's boring.

So. Urbandictionary. Define your world. Always good for a laugh. I've been subscribing to their word of the day for time immemorial. Since April 4 2006. Damn :/ That's 1521 urbanwords...

Ok so I love urbandictionary. But like any open source um document, you get inane content.
For example...

HPOA

hot piece of ass.

yo, did you see that guy?! he sure is a HPOA.

dangggg gurl, she's a HPOA. i bet her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Ok I'll pay that.

Ineption

Completely inept at understanding the film, Inception.

You don't understand Christopher Nolan's latest masterpiece? Talk about ineption.

A wise man once said - He who would pun would pick a pocket. This same guy ended up pulling musket shot out of his own ribcage on the Galapagos islands. You should listen to him.

Hit the slide

To quit one's job in truly stunning fashion.

Steven Slater was fed up of working for a--holes, so he hit the slide.


Oooh. News inspired. Edgy. Actually not so bad, except I had to look that up. It's only been two weeks and no one knows who the fuck Steven Slater is already. Douchebag.

Bragplaining

When you complain about something for the sole purpose of brining it up in conversation to brag about it.

Man, I'm only getting 10MB/s download speed. Normally I get at least 15.

Quit bragplaining. We all know you're just bitching to show off.

Ok if I ever hear anyone using this ever, I'm cutting their hands off.

Battery Bank

An extra bill of higher denomination set aside for emergency funds. usually stored under the battery of a cellular phone.

I was running low on cash and had to float on my battery bank until payday.

... This is actually a pretty good idea...

Book Google

When you need to figure out something, so you look it up in a book, like in the olden times, when dinosaurs ruled the earth.

Guy 1: Quick! What's the definiton of "callow?"

Guy 2: I don't know! My iPhone 4 doesn't get signal here!

Guy 3: Book google that shit!

This is pretty insipid, but totally plausible. I bet someone had already used this without being ironic, well before I saw it... It's still fuckin dumb though.

Run and tell that

Meaning to go spread the word. To let it be known. To go tell everyone quickly.

After Antoine Dodson, a young hero from Huntsville, AL, saved his sister from an attack he left a public message for the perp letting him know that this wasn't the end of the story, and that he would be caught.

Antoine- "You don't have to come and confess. We looking for you. We gon' find you, so you can run and tell that! Homeboy!"

Now that's more fucking like it!! (I'm not kidding). This is hysterical!!

Ok back to business.

Post Block Syndrome

Similar to writers block only in the context of social networking sites. Unable to come up with post worthy content.

After logging into facebook and staring at the screen unable to post, I realized I was suffering from post block syndrome.

I had spent all day waiting with baited breath for my urbanword of the day and I get that? I would have had a rage aneurysm but my theology unit has conditioned my brain to stupidity. Seriously. The other day I watched Kochie do some election coverage and it took me three full minutes before I remembered he needs a bullet.

OMJ

As known to the Jonas Brothers fans, it would be stood for 'Oh My Jonas!'

but if you put OMJJ or OMNJ, it would be like Oh My Joe Jonas or Oh My Nick Jonas.

"OMJ is Nick dating Miley again??"
"OMJ I sure hope not!"

... Rage Aneurysm.

...

Seriously, have you considered how much this person must just straight up... Not give a fuck to put that in front of another human being's eyeballs?
...

Alternatively, there are people out there who actually say this. Just think about that for a minute.

Suction Seat

The name given to the chair infront of your computer that you sit on to go on line. Once seated in it and going on line (facebook, aol, google, news, etc) it sucks you in to a much longer period of time than you planned.

I call my computer chair my SUCTION SEAT because although I only planned to be on line for 20 minutes, when I looked at the clock after finishing, I was on line for 2 1/2 hours!

Y'know I can totally relate to this. I wouldn't be surprised if this seat has a subtle imprint of my ass on it.

Half and Half and Half

A type of coffee so diluted by sugar, cream or milk that it no longer tastes like coffee, instead like milk and sugar, and has a beige or light brown color to it. The drink is typically concocted by those who want to appear as if they are drinking coffee but despise the taste.

Anne: Carrol is such a coffee poser, she'll only fill her mug with coffee halfway before she drowns it in milk and sugar.

Jill: Yeah, i hate the taste of her half and half and half.

... People wanting to appear as if they're drinking coffee is a thing now? Judging people on their coffee is a thing now??

I think I found a picture of the tortured soul who gave us this literary gem.



Hasta Luego

2 comments:

lillipoo said...

HPOA hits the slide?
http://thechive.com/2010/08/10/girl-quits-her-job-on-dry-erase-board-emails-entire-office-33-photos/
:P

senra said...

HAHAHA ..girl jeans.
love this post of yours XD