Smileys

You know, smileys, emoticons, whatever, those little things in SMS' and online conversations that are supposed to tell people that you're smiling or laughing... Basically just adding another dimension of expression to a conversation.

Cool invention huh. Yeah, pretty cool...

Until they go wrong.

I use MSN messenger. I liked the old version better. Now I'm not saying this in a pretentious hipster douchetard way, it's more or less the same thing, and if it's any better than the old version I can't tell. It's probably more stable or something. The emoticons in the old version, however, didn't look like they were plotting to cut your face off in your sleep.




Oh, you thought I was exaggerating?

Look at it again.

"Don't turn your back on me."




This here is 'Sarcastic Smiley'. Sarcastic my ass. Sarcastically just slipped a roofie into your drink. I don't know whether or not it's the tilt of the eyebrow, or something else, but I don't feel safe around this smiley... Just... Get it away from me.




I don't know what the hell this is supposed to be... Angry... I suppose. But it just doesn't convey that emotion, y'know. The first time I saw this I thought "What the hell, this guy doesn't look angry..." And then I got to speculating.

Maybe he sleeps upside down, and is like, really happy at the moment.

Maybe someone drew a face on a slice of salami. They did it wrong.

Maybe he has heatstroke, and that's actually a pained grimace.

Either way, he needs help.




This is supposed to be 'vampire bat'. The animation is a vampire face morphing into a bat and flying away, but in this frame it looks like an egg.

This is the safest you'll feel for a while.

Insert bacon here -->


: ) haunts my dreams.




It is Jame Gumb. It is Alex Delarge. It is Legion. It is Hannibal, come to beat down your city's walls.

And I always forget... MSN is different now man... It has evil in it.

You'll be typing, and innocently put in :) and then BAM




You've invited it into your presence.

Surprise, Cindy.


I will enjoy watching you fail.


*heavy breathing*


It's everywhere.

I hope you listen to this warning. It's best that you learn from my mistakes, and don't repeat them.

Hasta Luego.